‘I must have had so much internalised ableism to believe that an activity most kids that age do was too costly to adapt for my needs.’
Hello, sorry for the delay in part 2 of this series. Last month was hectic, but I cannot wait to tell you what I was working on very soon (and spoiler alert: it isn’t book 2). So, here I am at the very end of Disability Pride Month with part 2. I mean, I can’t miss Disability Pride Month, can I?
The first part of my book Occupational Therapy, Disability Activism and Me is about my childhood as this is where disability pride begins. I discussed this a lot in my first blog in this series Going Against What Society Tells Me as a Disabled Woman. I had a lot of internalised ableism as a child that I took with me through to adulthood as we have already unpicked. But how has this affected my disability pride
Past:
I mean from the quote I have picked about in the blog I clearly didn’t have much disability pride if I thought me having a trike was too much of an inconvenience so that I can do what most kids do! I have always thought I have been a proud disabled person and to some degree I have but thinking about my disability confidence in the past I certainly wasn’t loud and proud and that’s because disability wasn’t as spoken about as it is now. Disability wasn’t represented in the media and it wasn’t something to shout about, no wonder I had so much internalised ableism around needing support.
Present:
Now I am very loud and proud about my disability I have made it part of my role, and I am 25 years old and just coming round to the idea that I am not a burden. However, I’d be lying if I still didn’t think I am at times. So, confession time, I was nervous last year when my partner and I went on holiday because it was one of the first times it’s ever just been me and someone else. I’d been away with my friend before but we’d been friends a long time before this and whereas my partner had only been together a year. Now, of course, my partner does stuff for me without thinking and of course I’ll never not be grateful for it but I probably should be a bit less grateful or sorry! I apologise to my partner when he’s cutting up my food and I know I shouldn’t but I do!
My disability confidence has improved massively to be comfortable enough to be me around someone but now I need to be unapologetically me!
Future:
For me, disability pride in the future is about not feeling the need to constantly say sorry because I need more support or not be truthful if I need more. When I was younger I used my wheelchair a lot and as I got older I didn’t because I wasn’t confident enough to go out with my friends in it and I thought I would have got over this one by now but it’s still taking its time!
In the future, I want to not feel like I’m asking for too much and to not be afraid to ask for more when needed because that’s what disability pride is. Yes, I am high maintenance but let’s own that shall we?
Sorry this was short but sweet, but my Disability Pride Month has been spent making memories and not feeling the need to make content which I am very proud of for myself. For the first Disability Pride Month in a long time, I have just enjoyed living my chronically fabulous life! How’s your Disability Pride Month been and what personal goals have you set to embrace disability pride?
Thank you for reading,
Georgia x
