Going Against What Society Tells Me as a Disabled Woman

‘My life is not something to be pitied, I don’t need to be ‘cured’ and I am certainly not a burden!’

This line here is a line from chapter one of my book ‘Occupational Therapy, Disability Activism and Me’ which is a chapter written around my childhood experiences and this pity is still something that I carry with me today. I was often named the ‘cute’ and ‘smiley’ one as a child (all given I was cute and smiley) yet, I often got named this a lot and it of course came from an inspirational porn perspective of others. This objectification was usually by those that I didn’t know that well but occasionally sometimes I did know them that well and it all stemmed down to how society views disabled children we often see a disabled child as ‘cute’ and ‘inspirational’.  How often do we describe a disabled child as ‘intelligent’ or ‘creative’?

Don’t get me wrong I was far from intelligent as a child (not that, that matters and is a whole other blog) yet often for disabled children this isn’t even thought to be a possibility. Society is a lot more understanding of disability now in 2025. Still, I bet when an individual unfamiliar with the phrase ‘disabled child’ is met with the phrase then they go to ‘aww, bless them’ or think of the utterly disgusting pity porn show that is Children in Need. I’m not going to go there in terms of explaining why Children in Need, needs a serious dismantle as there is far better content on it out there than what I could write. 

But the thing that we often forget is that disabled children become disabled adults and if they experience this inspirational porn as a child then it could have implications on their adulthood. As a disabled woman, I still feel this benevolent ableism (inspirational porn) today and most predominantly I still carry the benevolent ableism that I experience as a child today. I’ve spoken multiple times on my blog about how I constantly feel the need to prove myself in everything I do, I mean sometimes I write a blog because I feel the need to publish my achievements. Whilst I’m all for celebrating achievements as birthdays are certainly not the only occasions that need to be celebrated, I often feel this need stems from my internalised ableism and has shaped the woman I am today. 

I guess part of me should be thankful for all those people who made me feel small as I’ve made a pretty amazing career out of ‘proving people wrong’. But there, that’s it why do I have such a strong desire to ‘prove people wrong’ and as we’ve established the short answer is because I’m a disabled woman. As I say I love my life and now I’m 25 I don’t feel as strong of a need to post online about everything (partly because of limited spoons). But as a teenager and in my early 20’s I certainly felt the need to tell the world what I’ve been up to, to show them that I was no longer that disabled child that they ‘pitied’.

When in fact I never should have been pitied as a disabled child as I still have the same rights and motivation to do what I wanted to do in the world as any other child! So, next time you pity a disabled child or call them an inspiration to make them feel good when you’re making yourself feel good think about this from their perspective. We all need a bit of empathy at times but there is a difference between empathy and pity. 

I hope this has been some food for thought! Why not finish this blog of with a little reflection the P.A.L.S.Y reflective log?

Thank you for reading,

Georgia