Health Update, Book Update, Life Up

So, you know me I’m going to try not to ramble my way through this blog but it’s fair to say the first quarter of 2024 has been pretty rubbish and yes, I want to update you but part of me wants to vent too!

I knew that this year was going to be tough, I had book promo, full-time work and my studies it wasn’t going to be easy but I had plans. I was going to schedule content and it was going to be what it was going to be. Yet, I didn’t expect it to be so minimal. January went well, I was actually getting somewhere with the book promo I managed to submit my assignment (on time even) I thought it was going to work!

February came and I planned to up my anti and wanted to create more fun content like reels. I find creating reels hard due to my speech impairment but I was willing to give it a go! However, I had a lot going on behind the scenes in February making it harder to keep up, but with a few weeks of focusing on work, I would be okay, right? 

I had a holiday at the end of February, a much-needed getaway with my partner – we had the most incredible few days. I totally switched off as well, no work talk, no book talk, just a few days exploring, eating and drinking in Amsterdam with my partner – perfect!

When I got back from holiday I returned to work as planned and was feeling much more motivated. February was a struggle but the nights were getting lighter, I could do this! Unfortunately returning to reality after my lovely break just exacerbated my stress levels and within 3-days returning to work, I was off unwell.  

Again I was still thinking a few days to gain some spoons, recharge and I’ll be fine. However, I wasn’t just fatigued I was stressed, and my stress was further exacerbated by some very late and unexpected book edits when I was expecting my published book to arrive on my doorstep any day.

With stress and exhaustion, I just couldn’t face the music that week and I spent most of it in bed. Thankfully due to support from friends and family, I decided to go to the doctors – maybe this was something more than a funk? Yep, it was and I was put on quite a bit of medication for the next 6 months, medication alarms now go off a lot! Relief, it wasn’t just me! 

Even if my results had come back as normal and I didn’t need new medication there is nothing wrong with needing time off I have a lot going on at the minute.

So, I took more time off I became very ill and had a month off work some of those days I needed supervision and couldn’t be left alone. This came with feeling like a burden, a failure, guilt, you name it I had it and some of those feelings and I’m still experiencing some now. Internalised ableism, I know.

I still don’t have my published book and as announced last week publication day has been delayed a week which is not due to me, but I still feel like a letdown.

I wanted my book to be such a big event, and maybe it won’t be. It’s taken me some time to come to terms with that and maybe I still am coming to terms with it. But I don’t have tons of followers because I don’t create enough content to keep up with social media algorithms which I accepted a long time ago so, why can’t I accept my book might not be that big? 

I guess it’s because I’m so passionate about the impact of ableism and I want it to be known, shared and make changes yet, that might not happen. Yes, I could have done more, but my life as a content creator isn’t as glamorous as people think. I don’t get paid to create content, which is why I have a full-time job besides this, because I can’t afford not to. I work Monday-Friday and am normally tucked up in bed very early on a Friday night. 

However, if you do fancy celebrating with me on May 4th registration in Sheffield is still open. Check out what’s going on here. 

I’d love to be able to do more, but physically and mentally I’m at full capacity, overflowing even. It’s still been quite hard to digest but the reality is that I am one person and I need to stop feeling guilty for not being able to do the things I want to do!

So, if you’re like me remember you are only human and can only do so much, don’t feel guilty, remember for change to happen it can only be done as a collective…

Thank you for reading,

Georgia