At the moment, I am on my placement and going on placement and getting into a new routine has been extremely difficult as my body is adjusting to a new body clock! Therefore, energy levels are low and fatigue is making more of an appearance! Due to this fatigue, at times I just get more stressed because even though I need to look after myself and not do work, at the back of my mind I still know the work needs doing so fatigue levels may decrease but stressed levels increase.
Due to my CP it doesn’t take much for me to fatigue meaning that just having a full day at placement can really effect my energy levels. I always know when a break coming up because I become a lot wobblier! When I realised how the semesters worked at university, I began to worry that I wouldn’t make it till Christmas without having a day off. However, I wasn’t in university all day long, every day before Christmas and this really helps, as I think if it wasn’t for this I wouldn’t have been able to have made it to Christmas without becoming ill. Therefore my placement is not a worry because I know I can go 5 weeks without a day off but it is still stressful knowing that I need to get work done and then still be on top form in order to get the most out of my placement.
I feel like over the years I have gotten better at knowing my own body and I feel like once I figure out how to judge my own needs half of the work is done. Knowing when to rest my body is key and I have become a lot less tired now that I am more aware of how my body works as for me doing little and often works. I find that taking regular breaks works for me rather than just doing 5 hours none stop. Reading my own body does work well and I feel like this is a useful, skill for me too.
However, I certainly haven’t mastered knowing when my body needs to rest, and I don’t think I ever will as just a few weeks ago I was quite ill, and it was all stress and fatigue related. For someone like myself who always wants to be on the go all the time, masking this can seem impossible and saying ‘no I can’t do that’ can be hard. I previously have had to turn down something that I wanting to get involved in and turning this opportunity down was hard to come to terms with. But why worry and stress over something that isn’t a priority? I have taken this attitude on board a lot more recently and I have previously tried meditating which has worked for myself and it has made me realised that I don’t have to take everything on I can always come back to that opportunity I turned down. Meditation has given me a new perspective and has helped me to prioritise and realised that some of my worries weren’t worth worrying about.
Writing my assignments to a good standard as well as getting the most out of placement is still stressful but for someone like myself it will never not be stressful because that’s just, the way my body works. But this is okay a bit of stress and pressure is only normal and in fact others may say it’s healthy, just as long as I know when it’s getting too stressful. As you can gather I like to be at the top of my game but does it matter if I’m not on top of everything all the time I can always ask for an extension on my assignment the resources are there and even though I don’t like using them it doesn’t matter because I’m obviously entitled to them. So yet again why stress?
A few of you are probably reading thinking why am I blogging and adding more stress… But I’m not adding more stress as I sit here writing this blog I’m feeling less stressed because I’ve just put my worries into perspective. In fact I see blogging as I an opportunity wind down, and I have actually written quite a few of my blogs to help me wind down a successful day. Yes, I worry about my blog sounding right and making sure I have topics to talk but that’s only because I’m passionate at blogging and want to make a career out of it one day. But at this moment in time, I’m liking where NSTP is taking me and I’m not stressed because I can take control if a miss a week of blogging this really doesn’t matter all that matters is that I’m enjoying it. It’s so cliche but it’s true why take on board something if, the stress overweighs the enjoyment? Not So Terrible Palsy is certainly more fun than stressful.
Overall, I feel like I have really got into university life and haven’t had much trouble when doing my assignments due to my fatigue levels. But going on my week placement has been very tiring and working long hours every day has caught up with me but again for me this is all about knowing my own body again and compensating for this. My hours on placement have been long but once I get into the routine I’ll not be as fatigue some nights I might be too tired to do my assignments, but this is fine as long as I’m not getting behind.
It is okay to say no!
Thank you for reading,